all the wrong reasons ----- i want the heartache i want the pain i want the shattered and tattered ramains i wanna... fall in love i want you to show me how you can turn my mind inside out let's do it let's fall in love love is a many splendour thing like a flower blooming in the spring love can be a very painful thing and i want you to make it sting so go ahead take my heart in yer fist and tear it apart let's do it let's fall in love i wanna love you so dearly i want you to always be near me i want a love that'll never fade etch it in my soul with a razorblade make me crazed make me stressed make me spend me life obsessed let's do it let's fall in love love is a many splendour thing like a flower blooming in the spring love can be a very painful thing and i want you to make it sting so go ahead take my heart in yer fist and tear it apart let's do it let's fall in love ----- push me back ----- she burns with poison's touch you sit there stuck emotions are too much it's easy just to fuck don't look away, just leer pour yourself another beer make everything less clear tonight there's satisfaction here the poison makes it numb the poison makes you dumb the dumbness gets you some who cares what you become don't look away, just leer pour yourself another beer make everything less clear tonight there's satisfaction here you want so much to feel you don't care if it's real you don't care if they care as long as they're there since you can't find love you find someone to shove someone who pushes back just to interact fuckin' push me back! you wake up like you're hit it ain't no crime maybe you'll feel like shit but just 'till next time don't look away, just leer pour yourself another beer make everything less clear tonight there's satisfaction here ----- relationship certification ----- i want to love gotta get my certification can't get my foot in the door don't know what to do don't know what to say don't know what i'm livin' for gotta take a class learn to watch her ass as she passes my way learn how to fight when things aren't right and sleep on the couch at night can't be no more hesitation need relationship certification gotta have something that looks good on my relationship application can't throw my heart away to cheep hands-on experience so i'll goto lectures and read the books 'till it all makes sense i want to love gotta get my certification can't get my foot in the door don't know what to do don't know what to say don't know what i'm livin' for sharpen my pencil go and take the test then i can feel hollow like the rest ----- what's real ----- if you can't feel about me the way i feel about you why can't you feel about him the way i feel about you i'm left alone and you've got him so don't just act like life's so grim your heart should burn with every thought about him every thought you think should be about him your world should glow your eyes should shine your voice should sing your body should fly i can't think it's allright when i'm alone tonight and he's there by your side you should feel more alive 'cause he's shining a light and you're shining a light and i'm shining a light and love's shining a light but you're looking away and he's looking away and i'm staring straight at you and i'm blinded and frayed so if you don't feel the way i feel why should i feel what should i feel so dead, so cold so hurt, so old this broken coal that burns my soul i can't think it's allright when i'm alone tonight and he's there by your side you should be more alive so if you can't feel the way i feel i hope he feels the way i feel 'cause i can't heal the way i feel, it might reveal what's real the way i feel might be real ----- blood stains ----- waiting by the phone when you say you'll call waiting to hear you say anything at all waiting to hear i'm not the one waiting to hear yer out having fun waiting to feel my soul on the run waiting for the gun rip it down, tear it apart, blood stains from a broken heart feel the pain, watch it start blood stains from a broken heart rip me down, tear me apart blood stains from a broken heart make my pain a work of art blood stains from a broken heart feeling it all sink in i wander in the cold feeling my pain again i wander in my soul agony, apathy, spite for my stupidity all these things inside of me churning violently rip it down, tear it apart, blood stains from a broken heart feel the pain, watch it start blood stains from a broken heart rip me down, tear me apart blood stains from a broken heart make my pain a work of art blood stains from a broken heart feel your words cut into me like the blade of a knife feel it all coming down has this become my life? all is dark, all is cold my emotions uncontroled nothing left to be consoled this pain so old rip it down, tear it apart, blood stains from a broken heart feel the pain, watch it start blood stains from a broken heart rip me down, tear me apart blood stains from a broken heart make my pain a work of art blood stains from a broken heart tear me apart blood stains from a broken make my pain a work of art my bloodstains from a broken heart ----- guitar amp ----- i wanted to play you a love song but my guitar amp broke and if it's not loud and confused it's not love i would tell you my feelings in some song i wrote but the words felt used and i'm so sick of feeling that my feelings sound so trite in your dealings and feeling that you're feeling to uptight and i'm reeling so maybe i'll get my amp fixed and scream and maybe you'll take me to litterally or maybe you'll understand just what i mean and see what's here inside of me ----- leapyear ----- i stand here... watching the cars go by, watching the stars go by, feeling the time go on, grating at my mind, i guess it wasn't that bad, except for right before, and right after, and during, the whole damn time i still can't believe i didn't run away. ask something else. collapse to the floor. shouldn't this seem less normal? what am i supposed to say? something specific? i've lied before. i don't think it's love, or lust. or hate. i hope it's not allergic reaction. i wish this were easier. that it wouldn't effect me, and yet i don't. fueled by pained attraction burn in my mind my love is blind burn in my mind must have sounded odd. "could we have a frank conversation about some potentially uncomfortable subjects?" oh well. at least we talked. i guess i feel better. i'm not really sure. fuck it. burn in my mind your precious time burn in my mind you silently turn me up you don't even know it you silently burn me up you don't even know it my love is blind burn in my mind my precious time 2/29 ----- behind myself ----- i am alone inside behind myself i hide picking over each part of me that's died move around each part of me that's dead still i can't get anything out of my head i tell it all to you speak as i think it through over time these lies can become true and now i see and know that everything's a lie and though all these tears i shed you never see me cry goodbye touch me i can't tell you're really there hold me it's more than i can bare press help me fight for air pull me 'cause i wouldn't dare my soul is in decay it burns my flesh away looks for a place to stay you know that i'd just give myself to you but you don't want me, and now i don't know what to do